No matter how many motivational or self-improvement books you read, your motivational and excitement level fade away after some time. And in the end, you again started doing things according to your habits. As humans are a creature of habits and it’s really difficult for everyone to change someone.
But before that, we must know which habits we should develop in ourselves because getting our habits to decide the difference between success and failure, Not only in our personal life but in our professional lives, and in the society we live in. I am sharing here some habits here which really helps you to make yourself an effective person.
At a restaurant, a cockroach came and sat on a lady. She started screaming in fear of a panic face and started jumping to get rid of a bad cockroach. Her reaction is contiguous which makes panic everyone in the group. The lady Finally manages to push cockroach away but it landed on another lady. She also started screaming in fear and continuous the same drama. The waiter rushed forward for the rescue. The lady pushed the Cockroach away and it landed on a waiter. The waiter instead of screaming and panicking he stood straight and observe the behavior of a cockroach. Then he is confident enough and then he grabbed the Cockroach with his finger and throw away from the restaurant. Lady is reactive and the waiter is Proactive. Because the waiter did not react to the situation which came to him unlike the lady did. Instead of this, he handled it with proper thinking. There is a great difference between proactive and reactive people. Reactive people love the blame game. According to reactive people, lots of problems happening in their life Due to government, society, relatives due to their parents and many more. According to the things or not in their control instead, things are always in control of other people or circumstances. They thought that circumstances are the problem but the problem is that thought. Reactivity becomes a self-processing prophecy and reactive people are increasingly victims. They always say that there is nothing I can do. That’s just the way I am and he makes me mad and on the other hand, proactive people take control of their own feelings in their own hand Instead of blaming someone else.
They take a hundred percent responsibility for their actions and behavior and they don’t blame the situations. Instead of focusing on the problems they are solution oriented people so in order to be proactive always focusing on the solution rather than the problems. In other words, we have no control over the things we can’t change. Instead of focusing on we can’t change, always focus on what we can change. As we can’t expect to someone that he or she will be changed for us or situation will be changed for us.
Our thinking and mindset are in our hand and we can mold it in a positive direction or towards solutions of the problem.
Begin with the end in mind
Imagine that you are in a Funeral, but it is different from any other funeral as you know that it is your own funeral. Now stop and think about the things that you’re wanna hear about you from others after your death, and what would you like to say about yourself at that time. Do you want to see yourself as a great friend? Then ask yourself Are you behaving like a great friend right now? which will make to say that you were a great friend. Do you want to remember as a person who added lots of value to society and helps many people in need? if “yes” then are you working in the same direction right now? Are your actions align with the goals you want to accomplish? Ask yourself what you want to definitely want to achieve before you die? After that Start working on it. Don’t just do the things without any clue at the end.
Put first thing first
How many times we catch ourselves to scrolling facebook or watsapp jokes or watching TV when we have other important things to be finished. This is one of the most common habits which waste so much of our time and holds us back to going above the average. It is really simple that hard to develop it a habit but in order to manage ourselves effectively, we must put first things first. We must prioritize our day to day actions based on what is most important and what is most urgent. So when you decide your end goals properly, then work to complete that goal. You must put first things those which helps you to complete your goal. Never let you keep those things first which keep you away from your goals. Time is very precious. To be stingy with your time rather than money.
Suppose you think to start your own business, you make a plan thinking all about your profits, growth and a product which is not helpful to your customers but still with your great marketing team and social skills, you sell it to lots of people and start making profits. Now, do you really think that you will make it big by doing this and get long-term results? Of course, you won’t, because doing this you create a win-lose situation then the outcome is loose. In order to make it big, you should always create a win-win situation for everyone. You should think more about adding values and benefits that you can bring to your customers. Doing this will automatically increase your customers hence profit increase automatically. Many people have the mentality that in order to win someone else to lose. But this is not the right way to think. It is called scarcity mentality which means if you get it, I won’t. But in reality, there are plenty of t things out here for everyone. We just need to develop the mentality which is called abundance mentality and always try to create a win-win situation in every situation, business or agreement for the best results.
Seek First to Understand then to be Understood
If you have to go eye doctor and tell him that you’re facing some trouble to see things. So he takes off his glasses and hands them to you and said use these glasses. They work very well for me so they will work for you as well. So you put them on but they make that problem worst. Now, what is the chance that you would go to the same doctor? Yet in everyday interaction with others, we do that same thing every day, we prescribe the solutions before we diagnose the problem clearly. We only hear to reply to another person not for understanding the situation or problem. We start criticizing the people without understanding the feelings. We focus on what the other people said and react that how can he say that instead, our main question should be why he says like that? And what are the real feelings behind it? So before you offer any advice or suggest solutions effectively interact with another person in any way you must seek to deeply understand them and they’re perspective through the empathetic listing. You should not listen to intend to reply but rather understand. The most important point is the person should feel you understood. When you start doing this, people will always start understanding you too.
If you plant two plants together, their roots will commingle and improve the quality of soil, so that both plants grow together than they would grow their own. The principle of synergy encourages to team up with people rather than fighting and dragging each other down. If we synergies with people we can obtain better results and increase our capability tremendously and have much better chances of reaching our goal.
Sharpen the Saw
Once a man trying to cut down a tree but even though after who many efforts he was unable to do his task. There was a man who is watching him and came to him and gave him advice that he should first sharpen the saw as his saw is not sharpened enough to cut down a tree. After listing this the man replied, but that will take time. Now you think that the reply is stupid but many time we also do the same kind of reply too. We can’t take the 30 min from 24 hours to exercise so that we can have good health. We can’t read a book for 10 minutes daily to improve our knowledge and then we shamelessly complain that why we have such kind of life? One of the best things you can do in your life is to sharpen the saw means to improve yourself every day in the areas of physically, socially, mentally and spiritually.
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