“A silent assumption is an equation with which you define your personal worth. It represents your value system, your personal philosophy, the stuff on which you base your self-esteem.”
All your moods are created by your thoughts.When you are feeling depressed, your thoughts are dominated by the negativity.The negative thoughts which cause your emotional anxiety nearly always contain gross distortions.
Every bad feeling you have is the result of your distorted negative thinking.Every time you feel depressed about something, try to identify a corresponding negative thought you had just prior to and during the depression. Because these thoughts have actually created your bad mood, by learning to restructure them, you can change your mood.
All-or-Nothing Thinking. This refers to your tendency to evaluate your personal qualities in extreme. All-or-nothing thinking forms the basis for perfectionism. It causes you to fear any mistake or imperfection because you will then see yourself as a complete loser, and you will feel worthless.
You arbitrarily conclude that one thing that happened to you once will occur over and over again, will multiply. The pain of rejection is generated almost within you.But you have to overcome from this feeling of rejection.
An even more spectacular mental illusion is the persistent tendency of some depressed individuals to transform neutral or even positive experiences into negative ones. You arbitrarily jump to a negative conclusion that is not justified by the facts of the situation.
You make the assumption that other people are looking down on you, and you’re so convinced about this that you don’t even bother to check it out.You imagine that something bad is about to happen, and you take this prediction as a fact even though it is unrealistic. Trust on yourself only, think about yourself not about others. They also say something bad if you do nothing.
You take your emotions as evidence for the truth. ‘I feel like a genius/businessman or anything else, therefore I am a genius/businessman or anything else’. This kind of thought and sayings affects your feelings which may reflect your thoughts and beliefs.”
“You try to motivate yourself by saying, “I should do this” or “I must do that.”Creating a completely negative self-image based on your errors is a very bad habit.
“Your thoughts create your emotions; therefore, your emotions cannot prove that your thoughts are accurate.”
Dr. Aaron Beck said a depressed self-image can be characterized by the four D’s: You feel Defeated, Defective, Deserted, and Deprived.
“ only your own sense of self-worth determines how you feel.”
Train yourself to recognize and write down the self-critical thoughts as they go through your mind.Learn why these thoughts are distorted?Practice talking back to them so as to develop a more realistic self-evaluation system.
Ask yourself, “What thoughts are going through my mind right now? What am I saying to myself? Why is this upsetting me?”
“When you are down on yourself, you might find it helpful to ask what you actually mean when you try to define your true identity with a negative label such as ‘a fool’, ‘a stupid dope’, etc. Once you begin to pick these destructive labels apart, you will find they are completely meaningless. Once rid of them, you can define and cope with any real problems that exist.Learn precisely how you are twisting things and blowing them out of proportion.Substitute a more objective thought that puts the lie to the one which made you look down on yourself.
“Whether your critic is right or wrong, initially find some way to agree with him or her.”
“Your feelings result from the meaning you give to the event, not from the event itself.”
When a genuinely negative event occurs, your emotions will be created exclusively by your thoughts and perceptions. Your feelings will result from the meaning you attach to what happens. A substantial portion of your suffering will be due to the distortions in your thoughts. When you eliminate these distortions, you will find that coping with the ‘real problem’ will become less painful.
“Although your distorted negative thoughts will be substantially reduced or entirely eliminated after you have recovered from a bout of depression.
When you think that you are trapped, your thinking is illogical.There is no truth or meaning to anything, and that all of life involves suffering.
Once you expose the distortions in your thinking, you will experience considerable emotional relief.
Your feelings of hopelessness total despair are just symptoms of depressive illness, not facts.